Stranger Strangers

By: Zoë Rose

Mary: Young looking girl with long, unruly hair. She wears all white and seems to float about the stage. Although she has the demeanor of a very young girl she holds herself with the grace of a much older woman. Mary wears all white except her bag of jelly beans filled with all different colors, and a pink backpack. Her skin is flushed as if she was a small child coming inside from playing in the snow.

Rebecca Klouter: An older woman in her 50s. She has very distinguished facial features and a very short and severe hair cut. Ms. Klouter wears all black and carries a black briefcase. She has large pointed glasses and a laptop with a black case over it.

Jennifer: Airport employee. Long hair swept back into a tight, perfectly formed ponytail. She wears a flight attendant uniform with a silver name tag on.

Scene One

At rise there are chairs set up in a straight line along a window. Outside the window is a large metal sculpture of many different vibrant colors. This sculpture could be interpreted as anything really, but the title is The Tulips. Ms. Klouter is already sitting on the chairs typing on her laptop. She is sighing and frustrated. Mary walks onstage with her backpack and a ziplock bag of jellybeans. She walks over to Ms.Klouter.

Mary: Hey! Ms.Klouter is silent, obviously not paying attention to Mary. Hey uhh…can I sit here? She motions with the ziplock to the chair next to Ms.Klouter.

Rebecca: Oh, yes of course, I’m sorry. She moves her briefcase.

Mary sits down next to her and there is a silence

Loudspeaker: Now boarding flight 134 first class.

Mary: Is that you?

Rebecca: Me? No uh, my flights in an hour.

Mary: Really? I totally thought you would be one of those corporate first classy-ladies.

Rebecca: This is not my flight. My flight is in an hour. Excuse me Ms.Klouter moves herself over a chair. Mary scoots next to her. Silence

Mary: You have first class seats on that one don’t you? Silence I bet you do. I always wanted first class seats to go visit my grandma in Florida when I was younger but my mom couldn’t afford it on account of she was my sole supporter. That’s what she always said “I am your sole supporter, who’s gonna buy you a first class plane ticket? Your daddy” He left us when-

Rebecca: Yes. I am first class on that flight. Excuse me I’m trying to get some work done.

Mary: Oh jeeze, I’m sorry. Silence Want a jellybean? You can have any flavor you want except root beer, that’s totally my favorite. And not to be mean but if you choose licorice I’ll probably judge you but…here I’ll give you the bag and close my eyes and then I won’t be able to judge you tries to hand her the bag

Rebecca: Miss, is there someone who’s with you here?

Mary: Wow! How silly of me, I’m Mary. Duh. I’m so rude sometimes. Nice to meet you miss….Klouter! Wow she reaches over to Rebecca’s name tag I always wanted one of these. My mom had one for the mini mart but she said that they only give you them when you’re old so I couldn’t have one. Come to think of it yesterday I saw that I have some wrinkles on my eyes and it totally freaked me out but I guess that means I can totally have one of those now!! I guess they’re smile lines on account of the fact that I’m such a wonderfully joyous person, you know I’ve been said to brighten up a room. Have you ever been told that Ms. Klouter? I think its really a very wonderful compliment.

Rebecca: Sarcastically Your mother sounds lovely. Now please may I get back to my work? I have to finish this before I get on this flight.

Mary: Sorry, sorry Ms.Klouter.

Mary gets up and begins walking around the area eating her jelly beans, she goes over to the window and stares out at the sculpture for a while. She breathes on the glass to fog it up and then writes her name in it. She wipes it away, eats a jelly bean, and breathes again, she writes Ms.Klouter on the glass that time.

Loudspeaker: Now boarding flight 134 business class

Mary: Hey Ms. Klouter she says from her place at the window what are you working on?

Rebecca: frustrated I am working on a very important business proposal for my job that I depend on for my salary which I use to buy first class airplane tickets.

Mary: Cool Mary goes back over to her seat one over from Ms.Klouter’s and peers over at Ms.Klouter’s computer screen aren’t you bored?

Rebecca: I-I-well…yes. I suppose so, but I have to do this anyways. Its important.

Mary: Oh. Sorry for bothering you. She is silent and resumes eating her jelly beans

Ms.Klouter attempts to get back to work. She types, backspaces and begins to type again. She then looks over at Mary, looks back at her screen, shuts her computer and places it in her briefcase. She stares at Mary.

Rebecca: Your mother worked at a mini mart?

Mary: her face brightens and she slides over to the seat next to Ms.Klouter again. Yeah! But I mean it wasn’t sad or anything, Ms.Klouter it meant that I got free lunch in high school and that I really learned how to cook because you know she wasn’t home early enough to make dinner for me. But its not sad because  she loves me and she wanted us to have enough money to buy plane tickets to visit my grandma in Florida.

Rebecca: Coach.

Mary: Yeah, coach. Silence. Then she reaches over to Ms.Klouter and hands her the bag. Ms. Klouter? If you want licorice I won’t look. Ms. Klouter reaches into the bag and takes out licorice. She pops it into her mouth while Mary’s eyes are closed.

Rebecca: Thank you handing the bag back to Mary

Mary: Sure, Ms. Klouter! Silence you know, because of my mom working at a mini mart and being my sole supporter and all I tried to teach myself how to cook when I was young you know? I leaned how to make all sorts of interesting foods like the kinds you read in french cookbooks? And I wanted to learn how to make my own jelly beans but the only kind I could ever make were the licorice

Rebecca: How funny that’s the kind I took then!

Mary: Not for you.

Loudspeaker: Now boarding flight 134 coach

Mary: Silence I don’t work at a mini mart if that’s what you’re thinking.

Rebecca: Oh, no I wasn’t thinking tha-

Mary: Not that there’s anything wrong with working at a mini mart I mean my mom did it and she was my sole survivor

Rebecca: Supporter?

Mary: Yeah that too. And it wasn’t even sad because I got free lunch and I can totally cook anything now. What’s your favorite food?

Rebecca: Oh, I suppose…lobster.

Mary: Of course it is Ms.Klouter. I could’ve guessed that. You should have asked me to guess because I totally would have guessed lobster.

Rebecca: How old are you?

Mary: Uhhhh. I guess I’m 23 but I mean you’re totally not supposed to ask that question Ms.Klouter its totally rude. Long silence Why’d you ask though? Because I’m so mature and wise and worldly even though my mom worked at a mini mart and it wasn’t sad?

Rebecca: I was just wondering. You look older than you seem I think.

Mary: That’s just because of my smile lines. See? She grabs Ms.Klouter’s hand and runs it along her smile lines They’re like craters.

Rebecca: Oh! snatching her hand back No, it is most certainly not your smile lines. Its everything about you, miss. You simply don’t do this. You don’t sit next to an obviously very busy, very overworked professional woman and begin a conversation about the deepest innermost aspects of your life! Young lady you’ve told me more in the past 10 minutes about yourself than you should tell anyone on the earth except perhaps your therapist! Or your parents!

Mary: I can’t tell my parents anything because 50% of them is dead Ms.Klouter! And I’m sorry if I wanted to begin a nice conversation with you because you seemed like a nice and caring lady who would want to hear my concerns about smile lines but I suppose that’s not the case!

Rebecca: Its not the thing to do! Its not proper.

Mary: Yeah? Well neither is this! Mary unzips her bag, takes a fistfull of jellybeans out, throws them at Ms.Klouter and then sticks her middle finger up at her. She stands up and walks back over to the window. She breathes on the glass again and this time, instead of writing Ms.Klouter down, she writes Ms.Kunt. While this is happening Ms.Klouter gathers herself and tries to regain her composure. After wiping the jellybeans off of her Jennifer walks over to Ms. Klouter.

Jennifer: Rebecca Klutter?

Rebecca: Klouter. Its pronounced Klouter.

Jennifer: I’m very sorry Ms.Klutter but there seems to have been a mix up with your seating.

Rebecca: Excuse me? Standing up from her seat

Jennifer: It seems that because you ordered your tickets online that you weren’t charged the correct amount for a first class ticket. You really bought a coach priced ticket.

Rebecca: That really doesn’t seem like something I should be taking responsibility for!

Jennifer: Yes, there’s really nothing the company can do except ask for your understanding. Things like this do not happen often with SouthWest, we pride ourselves on being very conscious of our guest’s requests but in this case there was a technical misunderstanding that can not be fixed. We hope you will be understanding.

Rebecca: Sarcastically Oh! I’m sorry, did you want me to be understanding?

Jennifer: Yes, Ms.Klutter, we will board you with the rest of the passengers in coach. Thank you for understanding.

At this point Mary walks back over, after obviously listening in to the whole conversation.

Mary: Um, hi! Excuse me I’d like to know what the problem is with my friend Ms.Klouter’s ticket?

Jennifer: There is nothing that can be done at this point m’am I’m very sorry for the misunderstanding.

Mary: Slowly reaches out to Jennifer’s name tag and runs her finger along the engraved surface. Oh Jennifer. Have you ever ridden first class on a plane? Its like you're part of something so much more beautiful and important than anyone riding in coach. You can remind yourself on rainy days when you start to think about your ex boyfriend and how he said that he couldn’t date you anymore because he wasn’t ready for a serious relationship yet but is now engaged to your best friend from high school Angie Bradford that you rode first class to Bangkok

Jennifer: Actually, this plane is one way to Michigan

Mary: In my darkest times I like to remember that its not where you go, its how you get there. Riding first class on a plane helped me cope with the death of my father you know. I was truly broken up about it because after that my mother had to be my sole supporter which was actually much of a strain on our family but because I was able to ride first class I didn’t want to die so much as I did before. It makes you feel like you’re somebody you know, Jennifer?

Jennifer: I don’t know miss, I’ve never ridden first class.

Mary: silently Oh. Well then, if you’ve never ridden first class now starting to yell then how do you expect my dear and good friend Ms.Klouter to give up her ticket on your beautiful but technically mismanaged plane? How do you expect her heart to go on when every bit of self worth she has left has been placed into this flight you unfeeling bitch! Just because my dear and good friend Ms.Klouter may be old, not very pretty, and I judge her often for eating licorice jelly beans does NOT mean it is acceptable to treat her this way JENNIFER.

Jennifer: Oh my.

Mary: So, if you must take away the very good and dear Ms.Klouter’s first class ticket I’d like you to remember that it will be the last ticket you ever reclaim.

Jennifer: I will um…I will find a way for your ticket to be…I….I’ll change it. Jennifer quickly walks away

Rebecca: Well then. She sits back down and shakes her head back and forth

Mary: Don’t think I totally just 100% forgive you now Ms.Klouter because you were totally mean before about my smile lines but I didn’t think it was fair that they were gonna take away your totally awesome expensive first class ticket to Michigan.

Rebecca: That was…exceptional. Thank you.

Mary: Yeah its fine. When you work where I work you get used to having to deal with crisis like that all the time. People just aren’t fair, you know? And its totally not fair that because people are jealous they can just take things away from you, you know?

Rebecca: But I thought you hadn’t ever ridden first class, dear?

Mary: Oh, well. I guess I haven’t. I thought it would add more hutzpah to my story if I made it like a personal dilemma of mine and all my innermost insecurities came out when I was telling that lady to let you have your first class seating. People especially listen to you when you say a dear loved one of yours has died.

Rebecca: But that’s awful.

Mary: Yeah but it totally works Ms.Klouter you should try it. Mary kneels on the chair next to Ms. Klouter and faces her Okay, tell me that I can’t have another free sample of jelly beans because I’ve already had 11 She hands Ms.Klouter the jelly beans

Rebecca: Okay. You can’t have anymore jelly beans because you’ve already ha-

Mary: No! she drops to the ground

Rebecca: Oh my! Are you alright young lady?

Mary: Shhh, Ms. Klouter, its part of the bit…ehem: No!! You’re right “lady who works at the jelly bean factory” its just…my father. He loved jelly beans so. Every day I came home from school he would give me one as if to say “You’ve done it Mary, you’ve made me proud.” Without this little piece of him in my memory, all I can seem to remember were the times he and my mother fought, or he beat me, or drank himself to sleep right on our living room couch but…you’re right. I should never have asked for another jelly bean, even if it was to keep the memory of my-

Rebecca: God in heaven above! Stand up girl, take this back. Ms. Klouter forcefully places the jelly beans in Mary’s hand I see what you mean. There’s no need to make a scene.

Mary: I learned that trick in fifth grade and I’ve been using it ever since. I guess people eventually catch on though when you tell them you’re a 12 year old orphan living at home alone and they call child protective services only to have them show up at your house later that day and meet both of your parents alive and well but once you learn how to use the dead loved ones thing to your advantage everything gets easier from there. You just gotta know when to use it and when you’ve taken it too far. I also recommend using some aspect of you know, real life in your lies. I guess that goes for any lie you tell though. Want another licorice?

Rebecca: Yes please.

Mary: I knew you would. She opens up the bag for Ms.Klouter and lets her take one out. There is another long silence. This time Mary exits offstage. She quickly re-enters with a Diet Coke and a magazine. She sits down far away from Ms.Klouter this time. You can tell this is very hard for Mary because she is tapping the edge of her seat and tries to focus on her magazine. Eventually she gives up, walks over to Ms.Klouter passing a trashcan set on stage, throws away the magazine and stands beside Ms.Klouter’s chair.

Mary: When I was in middle school all my teachers thought I had ADHD because I got bored and stuff in class you know? But I’m pretty sure that’s just because like class was boring you know? I think if someone thinks something is cool and interesting that if someone else doesn’t agree with them then they think they’re weird of ADHD or something. Mary sits down one seat away from Ms.Klouter and puts her feet up on the seat right next to Ms.Klouter. Have you ever had ADHD Ms.Klouter?

Rebecca: That’s an odd question.

Mary: I know right! But then why did everyone in middle school keep asking it?

Rebecca: I guess they were concerned about you dear.

Mary: Okay. silence Who’s concerned about you then?

Rebecca: shocked at the question What?

Mary: I mean like…who asks you if you have ADHD or gives you money for Diet Coke when you don’t have any cash and stuff. Who does that for you?

Rebecca: I guess…my son.

Mary: Oh man Ms.Klouter, you have a son?

Rebecca: Yes. Wouldn’t have guessed that one would you?

Mary: I probably could have eventually.

Rebecca: I’m sure.

Silence

Mary: Well, where is he?

Rebecca: He’s…at Lakewood Hospital.

Mary: Oh. Silence What’s wrong with him?

Rebecca: Nothing’s wrong with him!

Mary: Okay Ms.Klouter, sure. But I mean why is he in the hospital they wouldn’t take him into the hospital if he was perfectly 100% okay because that would be a waste of taxpayers money unless you had totally good insurance which I guess you must because you can afford first class plane tickets that are actually coach.

Rebecca: My son has trouble…well I guess he has trouble not doing cocaine if I’m completely honest.

Mary: Wow.

Rebecca: Wow.

Mary: I had to go to the hospital once because I accidentally took too many baby tylenols.

Rebecca: Fascinating.

Mary: Yeah I guess so. I mean when I got there they had to stick a tube down my throat and they kept asking me why I wanted to kill myself and why I took so many vicodin but I just kept telling then “It’s baby tylenol!!” but you know doctors. They always wanna be right.

Rebecca: That sounds horrible.

Mary: Yeah but it wasn’t sad or anything because I totally didn’t want to die or anything like that wasn’t my sole purpose of taking the tylenol because obviously if you take tylenol there are underlying reasons besides suicidal intention like a headache or a fever or something which I totally had both of.

Rebecca: Sincerely Of course dear.

Mary: There is a long pause as Mary takes a sip of her Diet Coke. I wonder why it is that people always live up to your expectations.

Rebecca: Oh, I don’t think that’s true at all!

Mary: You totally lived up to mine Ms.Klouter. You did because I knew when I came to sit down here that you wouldn’t want to talk to me and that you would take a black jelly bean.

Rebecca: If you knew all that then why on Earth did you sit here?

Mary: Well I wanted to see if I was right about you. I usually am right about people like you though because there are a lot of you. I think around 60% of people are more like you than any other kind of person.

Rebecca: What does that mean?

Mary: I can see you from a mile away. I guess that’s my super power. You’re all the same. None of you have smile lines.

Rebecca: Miss, I don’t have smile lines because I work hard to keep my complexion

Mary: No, but its more than that. You’re like my father. And my grandma in Florida.

Rebecca: Well, I don’t think its fair to judge people on their appearcances.

Mary: I guess that’s right Ms.Klouter. But I was right about you, so I guess I’m allowed just this once. I thought you would take a licorice one and you did.

Rebecca: Why does it seem to matter to you so much that I took a licorice jellybean? I could have easily taken a blue one.

Mary: But you didn’t, that’s why its important.

Rebecca: But why does it matter?!

Mary: Because. I made the licorice ones myself.

Mary smiles, closes up her ziplock bag, and puts it into her backpack. She then stands up, checks her watch, and walks back to the window staring at Ms.Klouter the whole time.

Rebecca: What a strange girl She pulls her laptop back out but pauses. She takes a deep breath, but can’t. She tries again. She can’t catch her breath. She begins coughing and sputtering. She falls to the floor. Jennifer runs over to her and holds Ms.Klouter’s head in her lap.

Jennifer: You! yelling at Mary Call for help! Someone help this woman is dying! Someone help! Why are you just standing there?? Why aren’t you helping??

Mary: She did it to herself Mary starts to exit, stops and says to herself  I knew she would eat a licorice one.

Mary walks completely off stage as Jennifer remains on the floor with Ms.Clouter, who has passed out. Jennifer continues yelling “Help! Someone call 9-1-1! Help!” as the lights fade to black.