looking
up
Written By
Zoë Rose
Cast of Characters
Sarah: Always in the middle of something. In her 20s.
Life: Wears a white dress with a name tag that says “Life” on it. Fair and benevolent. She is graceful, she is light, she is powerful.
Death: Wears a black robe with a name tag that says “Death” on it. Not the end, but definitely not the beginning. Male.
Author’s Note: This is a story told through different lenses: poetry, caricatures of different genres, and representations of concrete realities. Although this story is one complete narrative, each scene should be approached as its own piece.
Scene One
At rise, the stage is bare except for three chairs. Behind the chairs is a projector screen. LIFE, Sarah, and DEATH sit in each chair. LIFE is looking into a bowl of water. Sarah is on the phone, and DEATH sits with his back toward the audience.
Sarah: When I was born I had stars in my eyes. So many stars. Stars stars stars. Galaxies! In my eyes.
Life: You’re the sun! You’re the sun!
Sarah: They would tell me. And I would say no, no, no. I am everything…and I was.
Over the sound system, plays the voice of Sarah’s mother. It is LIFE’s voice.
Life/Mother: I just worry about you baby. Are you sleeping enough? Showering? You know you need to change your pillow case once a week or else your skin will start to break out again. You remember how bad it got last semester?
Sarah touches her face. She pulls her hair back. She adjusts her shirt. She can’t get comfortable.
Sarah: You ever inspect the shit out of your body? Like you try to understand everything about the energies and stars and liquids and solids that make you up.
Life: That you make up.
Sarah: But then you freak out and find something that you didn’t know before or that you didn’t want to know.
Death: Bones, hair, nails, teeth
Sarah: This is not me!
Life: Blood, veins, cosmos, energy.
Sarah: I
Life: Am
Death: Everything.
Black out.
Scene Two
The stage is a set up like a daytime game show. There is a set of lime green chairs against stage right, Sarah sits in one of them.
Death stands center stage in front of a projector which displays a “wheel of fortune”
Death: (as the gameshow host) So, your best friend texts you on a Saturday night-
Life enters stage left, holding a cell phone.
Life: Whattup girl!!Red-ay to par-tay??? Car emoji, champagne emoji, confetti emoji, question mark?
Death: Now, you could go out with your friend and have a fun night, but what would that look like?
Life: Get ready: black crop top, no red, no see-through, actually black, nope, red. Makeup, too much glitter? Never too much glitter. Pre-game, you don’t wanna drink that gross frat alcohol, shit did you pregame too much-
Death: Orrrrr, you could spin the Wheel of Fortnight, with your host-me! Death! And see what your night,will inevitably have in store for you!
Sarah: Uhh…could I just go out and see what happens for myself?
Death: No no no, you couldn’t do that! Your anxiety fueled intrusive thoughts about the outcome of the night would haunt you all evening, you should make a pre-determined decision, and then stick to that plan!
Sarah: Oh, okay, that makes sense. Sure, yeah. Why not. I’ll spin your little wheel.
Sarah walks up to the projector and the wheel starts spinning. There are different night outcomes listed on the wheel: Get way too drunk and throw up, get way too drunk and somehow not throw up, hook up with hot guy from soccer, hook up with weird guy from law class, drunkenly find some swings in a playground…the spinner lands on one option
Death: And it looks like you’ll be ending your night: Drunkenly running into your ex boyfriend Brandon at a party, trying to hook up with him, and being sorely disappointed!
Sarah: Wait wait wait, can I spin it again? Please? I’d honestly rather get the throwing up one.
Life: Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results is the definition of insanity.
Sarah: Okay Einstein, that’s enough from you.
Sarah feebly attempts to spin the spinner again, Death and Life restrain her. Sarah thrashes around in the arms of Life and Death, screaming.
Death: Looks like that’s all for this episode folks! Tune in next Saturday night to see what else Sarah will get up to!
Life: It’ll probably be the same thing as this week! It always is!
Black out.
Scene Three
Life and Sarah stand center stage. Life is brushing her teeth, while Sarah does her makeup in a pantomime mirror. There is a warm wash of light on them, on the projector is a clock which reads 8am. Above the clock projection is an image of a sun rising from the stage right side of the projector.
Sarah: I hate this stupid 9am law class. Who has class at 9am? Like, who would choose that?
Life: Unintelligible gibberish due to the toothbrush in her mouth
Sarah: What?
Sarah spits out her toothpaste
Life: Lawyers.
Sarah: Oh yeah, fucking lawyers…she reaches up and touches the roots of her hair Do you think I need to shower? Like, does my hair look greasy?
Life: I mean you already put your makeup on.
Sarah: True.
Life: Maybe it’s a hat day?
Sarah: I feel like everyday’s a hat day! Ugh I haven’t showered in like…actual days dude.
Life: It happens. What are you doing today? Besides 9am law class.
Sarah: Well…I think I’m going over to Brandon’s…
Life: Did you text him or did he text you?
Sarah: Sheeplishly, in a whisper under her breath I texted him
Life: What?
Sarah: I texted him! Okay! Jeeze, stop breathing down my neck, for reals bro. So what if I texted him? So what if the last time I saw him he threw up on me and left Kelsey’s party with another girl? So what. It happens.
Life: No, yeah, we all throw up on our ex girlfriends and then leave Kelsey’s party with the TA from her-
Sarah: Law class, okay, I get it, the irony is not lost on me.
Sarah looks up at the clock on the projector above her, it now reads 8:45
Sarah: Look, I left something at his place. I need to get it. It’s important. Anyways I need to go, I’ll let you know what happens!!!
Sarah runs off stage left
Life: calling after Sarah This sounds like a bad idea but I support you and your decisions!
Blackout.
Scene Four
Brandon/Death’s apartment. There should be a couch center stage, throughout the scene beautiful, classic songs of love and romance should be playing as the action swells (ex. God Only Knows by The Beach Boys, I Wanna Hold Your Hand by The Beatles, I’ll Stand By You by The Pretenders).
Sarah knocks on the door upstage, and Death opens it. Classic Romantic Comedy tension. They hate each other, they love each other, they hate each other again.
Death: Oh hey Sarah, I thought you would be coming a little later.
Sarah: Jeeze, sorry. Didn’t realize I was such an inconvenience.
Death stands to the side of the door, letting Sarah into his apartment.
Death: No no no, you’re fine. Actually, that makes it easier for me to say what I want-
Sarah: So, do you have my notebook or not?
Death: Yeah, it’s on the couch.
The two sit on the couch, awkwardly far away from each other. Sarah picks up her notebook and thumbs through the pages, avoiding eye-contact with Death.
Sarah: Well, thanks for letting me come by to grab this-
Death: You know you’re always welcome here, babe.
Sarah: What…did you just call me ba-
Death: Look, I need to say something, and you don’t have to listen to me. You can just take your notebook and walk out of this apartment, and my life…but I don’t want that. And I don’t think you want that either. Actually, I know you don’t want that because otherwise you wouldn’t be here.
Sarah: Wait…what are you saying?
Death: I’m saying that I have feelings for you Sarah. Feelings, feelings man. Like, feelings I can’t even describe with my words because you exist in a dimension free of words.
Sarah: I feel the same way. About the feelings. I definitely have those-
Death: You know how hard it is for me to open up to people, and right now, I am being 100%, completely open and vulnerable. I got it bad for you babe. I think its very probable that I might just still love you.
Sarah: Oh Brandon, I love you too.
Scene Five
Brandon’s apartment. The music stops. The light is dimmer now. The projector image of the sun has made it’s way to the center of the projector, symbolizing mid day.
Death: So, wanna hook up?
Sarah: You…wanna hook up? You wanna hook up. You…just wanna hook up.
Death: Yeah, I know that’s why you left your notebook here, dummy. I know you want a piece of this.
Sarah: I left my stupid notebook here because we dated for a year and a half, and I had a lot of things here.
Death: Annnddd….because you haven’t gotten laid in a couple of weeks and you know that I am always down for some break-up sex.
Sarah: Ugh!!!! Ugh!!!!
Sarah walks to the next room, the bathroom, on stage at the same time as Brandon’s apartment’s couch. This can be just a chair.
Sarah sits on the toilet, head in her hands.
She mimes flushing the toilet and washing her hands.
She walks out of the bathroom and into Brandon’s apartment.
Sarah: Guess what, Einstein. I’m on my period.
Death: So?
Sarah: So?? So, I’m leaving. And you suck. You suck so bad. In that really, really bad, stupid ex-boyfriend way. Also, you’re not as hot as you think you are. And even if you were just as hot as you think you are, you’re stupid. So it doesn’t even matter.
Death: Well you’re stupid enough to date me for a year and a half.
Sarah: Yeah! Okay, so I’m stupid! You’re still stupid! This conversation is stupid! And your apartment smells like raw chicken, what the fuck is up with that? I wasn’t gonna say anything, but it smells BAD dude, take care of your living environment.
She swings open his apartment door and storms out.
There is a beat.
She storms back in.
Sarah: Also, that day that you told me you were hanging out with your sister, I know you were actually out partying with Todd and Kevin, I saw their snapchat stories. Also your sister’s a bitch, and her wedding ceremony was distasteful.
Sarah grabs her notebook, which she forgot on the couch.
She storms out, and right back in again.
Sarah: I’m sorry, please don’t tell Amber I said that, she’s not a bitch…you are. You’re the bitch!
She storms out again, this time for good.
Black out.
Scene Six
The stage is bare. Sarah stands center stage, Life and Death on either side of her. They are still.
Sarah:
Be still they say,
Silent.
As my body, this vessel,
Becomes a bloody womb.
Walk straight, I am told
So that my head may carry the thoughts which rain from the Gods like silver droplets
Cascading down my straight, narrow back
Which intertwine themselves with the coils of my curls
I touch my body with my fingers
and with each fingertip I can trace
Each moment when
This body, this vessel
This bloody womb,
Was chastised, changed, used,
Offered
To who?
Life: To Life?
Death: To Death?
Sarah: To a hole in the ground.
Death:
It is a wise man,
He who knows that with every beginning, comes an inevitable end
We waste our bodies away
Bleeding, biting our nails,
Anxiously turning our own minds
Life, Death, and Sarah: This is how we waste away
Life:
For what?
What about love?
What about simple, unseen, blinding light
The impenetrable force
Which welds our bodies to one another
Which keeps our useless fingers reaching out
Grabbing for bone,
For flesh,
For a home inside another body.
Death:
But that body will inevitably waste itself away.
And what is the use? Two bodies. Wasting into each other.
Life, Death, and Sarah: For all time.
Black out.
Scene Seven
Sarah stands in the middle of an aisle in a convenience store, she is looking at a box of tampons on a shelf. Her head is down and she is muttering to herself. The sun projection should be completely stage left, it has risen and gone throughout the course of the day.
Sarah: Waste away…waste away…for all time? No.
Sarah grabs the package of tampons which she was looking at, and delivers her next few lines to them.
Sarah: Yeah, I could have made up an excuse to leave. I could have just said “No, I do not want to have sex with you Brandon”. That could’ve worked. But I believe, that there is righteousness in honesty…unlike some people. And honestly, I did want to have sex with him, oh no!! A woman wants to have sex! The worst thing she could possibly do!!! And you know what, I did leave my notebook there on purpose…the first time! But not the second! And I am glad I have my period because now I don’t have to have mediocre sex with my boyfriend! I mean…my EX boyfriend.
Sarah turns around, to face the other side of the convenience store aisle.
Sarah: Wait, a mother-fucking second. Ummmm….yeah. I have a question. Quick question! Hello Walgreens employees, yeah, just wondering why the feminine hygiene products are literally in the same aisle as the makeup? What, were you like, “What’s the one thing a woman on her period could ever want? Makeup!!”?? This is a gross generalization about all people with vaginas, yeah that’s right, I said VAGINAS. I’m appalled.
Sarah looks the aisle up and down, and begrudgingly grabs a lip gloss from the shelf.
She walks to the register, Death is the cashier, he wears a Walgreen’s employee hat.
Death: Why hello there, how are you today? Find everything you were looking for okay?
Sarah: Yeah.
Death: Do you have a card with us here at Walgreens?
Sarah: Shit, no. Can I put my phone number in?
Death: Of course.
Sarah: Why do you even hand out the cards anymore, honestly? Like, doesn’t everyone just put their phone number in anyways?
There is a beat of silence
Sarah: Hey um, I have a quick question. Not pointing fingers or anything cause I know you’re just an employee, but I was wondering if you knew anything about the social connotations of having the feminine hygiene products in the same aisle as the makeup?
Death: I’m sorry. I don’t. Have a good day!
Death attempts to hand Sarah her shopping bag, but she doesn’t take it.
Sarah: I mean, doesn’t it seem odd to you that the management would like to make those sweeping generalizations about all of woman-kind?
Death: Well uh, didn’t you buy a makeup product?
Sarah: That…is not the point.
Death: I feel like it kind of is.
Sarah lets out a long, low breath of air. She takes the bag off the counter, opens the lipgloss, and begins to put it on.
Blackout.
Scene Eight
Sarah: When I was little, my mom told me not to stare into the sun. I mean, I guess I understand why. It’s this whole celestial body up in the sky and it is also literally on fire. So, like, you probably don’t want that all up in your eyes. But I went outside every single day the summer I was 7 years old, and stared up at the sun. And now, I have pits in my eyes where there used to be light.
Life: Yes, she is light,
Death: But she is also darkness.
Life: She is everything which surrounds the dark.
Dark: She is the dark pit in the middle of the sun.
Sarah: I guess now, I’ve learned to look at everything with pits in my eyes. Friends, lovers, light, dark. It is when I can let myself look away, when I can unstick my eyes from their target, that I can truly see the world around me.
Death: Cars, scraping metal, belts, shoelaces, seams-
Life: Grass, toes, lips, arms, mouths, fruit, paper, air, breeze.
Sarah: Yeah, I think that’s my problem.
Death: Looking too damn hard.
Life: For too damn long.
Sarah: At one thing.
Death: Relentlessly.
Life: Eternally.
Sarah: Maybe it’s time I learned to look.
Death: Up.
Life: Up.
Sarah: Up.
Stage lights get brighter and brighter, until eventually slowly dimming.
Blackout.